Do you guys ever find yourselves in the position where you feel like you never have a wink of time for yourself? The past few weeks have been fairly exhausting for me and all because of my own mismanagement of my time and obligations. I have been making plans with various people in advance of my days off and then when the date approaches, wishing I was able to just stay home. Do you guys ever get like that?
Here's the backstory. Prior to going to Ireland, I was working two jobs which literally had me busy like, 12 hours a day 3 or 4 days a week with MAYBE one day off a week. I literally had no time for anyone in my life because I was desperate to save the money I needed to get to Ireland. I spent my days feeling like I was failing my friends to further my own ambitions which often left me feeling regretful but ultimately got me back to Ireland where I spent the best year of my life. One of the things I told myself coming back was that I was going to commit to being more available to my friends. This however, has come at a cost. I didn't realize how many friends I actually had and how many people I needed to commit my time to. I've since learned that I have a wonderful amount of friends which is fabulous but also makes my commitment to spending more time with friends kind of all-consuming. I spend all of my free time meeting with various friends, doing dinners, grabbing drinks etc. and now have noticed I have absolutely no time for myself and the things I enjoy. I spend next to no time writing and testing recipes like I used to which is what my blog was built on. I never play my SIMS which I mean, isn't actually that big of a deal but it ties in to my me time. I feel like I'm letting go of all of the things I love to make myself available all of the time. I guess what I'm getting at is I need some serious help juggling everything. I want to be those Instagram moms who work out, eat well, meal prep, write and test recipes, further my own ambitions, and have time for friends. How do these people manage everything? I'm literally at a loss as to how to manage everything in a way that both benefits me but also makes myself available to my amazing friends. IT seems almost impossible to figure out how to manage everything but you look at other people in your life who are actually managing to do all of the things and can't help but wonder where you're going wrong in your own life. I guess I'm just ranting because I haven't found a flow that works for me. I need to find a way to see everyone without sacrificing the things in my life that I love. Is that even possible? I don't know, but I have to try a little harder that's for sure. How do you guys manage everything in your lives? Do you use a scheduling system that allocates time to both social events and personal growth? I need help lol HAPPY VEG
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Well y'all, I decided to take a leap of faith and reached out to the SWAP program and New Zealand's Immigration to ask them if I could still be eligible for a 1 year working holiday visa. If you guys remember, I went on a similar visa to Ireland a year back and it was one of the best experiences of my life! Unfortunately, my time is running out to apply for the same visa for New Zealand and that's why I've reached out hoping they would be willing to work with me.
Essentially, once you turn 35 years old, you are ineligible for the Youth Mobility Visa which grants you a one year "citizenship". This allows you the opportunity to live, work, and travel in another country, essentially becoming a citizen for the year. My 35th birthday is in February of 2021, 5 months from now which would make me too old for the program. What I am hoping through reaching out to these programs is that they will allow me the opportunity to apply for and be granted the visa but hold on to it past my 35th birthday until border restrictions loosen up allowing me the opportunity to enter and stay in the country preferably without a 14 day isolation period. It's a reach for sure but I'd be crazy to not have at least tried. All I'm hoping is that I can have some additional time because of covid and everything being closed as it is outside of my control. What's the worst that could happen? They could deny me of course and then I'd be left to try and plan out what my next moves would be although I already have a pretty good idea. I would then rent an apartment for the year followed by a move to Canada's east coast. This potential move also excites me because I've actually never seen the east coast which is reputably some of the most beautiful spots in Canada. I love the idea that I could start in let's say, Prince Edward Island, and move on to Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick whenever I felt like change was needed. I also love this opportunity because I'm still within my own country which means that I won't be returning to my home with absolutely zero dollars and nowhere to really stay. I'll be free to kind of pick up and go whenever I please. For now, I'm holding out hope that the NZ government will grant me the opportunity to apply for the visa which would mean sometime late summer next year I'd be flying out to New Zealand. I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything falls into place and I can head out and explore a new country. I also love the idea that I could do some travelling through Australia as well as a trip to Japan which has now become like, life goals for me. Cross your fingers for me y'all ;) HAPPY VEG My goodness y'all, it seems like right when you think things can't get any crazier, they make a point of proving you wrong. This whole coronavirus situation just keeps getting more wild by the minute, the United States is in complete and utter turmoil as protests and the virus run rampant, Hong Kong is fighting for its democracy, Brazil is a complete disaster because of its leader etc., things are so unstable on our planet right now. It makes waking up every morning a challenge because you really don't know what kind of conundrum our planet is going to be up against next.
All of this turmoil also makes it incredibly hard to make plans for my future because there is so much uncertainty right now. As you guys know, my original plan was to participate in the working holiday in New Zealand which would have seen me spending a year there, working and travelling, creating tons of new amazing memories. However, our borders are all still closed and my window of opportunity to participate in the program is slim as once I turn 35 in February I become ineligible. This uncertainty has pretty much nixed this opportunity for me. I've been looking at apartments also, trying to perhaps move out for September or October but my goodness, my wants do not correlate with my budget, let me tell you. I saw the most exquisite apartment and immediately saw myself in it. Gorgeous granite counter tops, subway tile back splash, gorgeous views of the river etc. and then the price at a whopping 1595 a month pretty much squashed my dreams. It's been pretty eye opening trying to shop around for a place. I'm either conceding to having to live in a carpeted place or living in someone's basement apartment with slits for windows. It's devastating. I'm also planning to move out east in 2022. I am thinking I'd love the opportunity to live in Prince Edward Island or Newfoundland for a couple of years. Cooler summers, more picturesque surroundings, quieter and more peaceful existence, it all sounds like a win to me. I just have to survive another year and a half in my city which if you've never lived in Windsor, you cannot comprehend the difficulty of this task. What a whirlwind this life is. Am I going to get coronavirus, west nile, malaria perhaps? Am I going to stay in Canada, move to New Zealand, or stay put here in Windsor? Ugh, so many uncertainties but I guess that's just how things are. Always preparing for the future but having like, 50 backup plans if any of those plans fall through lol never stop planning for the future I guess. HAPPY VEG What an interesting time to be alive, I must admit. As we enter the fourth full month of lock downs and restrictions, I can't help but notice how divided the planet is on everything. I feel like this whole pandemic and the actions taken to adjust to it have brought out the very worst in people. It's brought out the skeptics, the entitled, the angered..it's literally made the entire world clash on almost everything. It's unfortunate because when bad things come, it's always a better idea to approach it collectively and in unison but this situation has been anything but unified.
What I've noticed as I've still been working through this is that there are just as many people adhering to the guidelines as there are not. I've had people push their way through the barriers put together at my restaurant without regard for my health or safety. I've been at grocery stores where people blatantly disregard the directions and literally climb all over you as they try to shop. I've seen posts about conspiracies and tripe about masks and distancing being forced on us etc. It's been super disheartening watching this virus tear us all apart. My intentions through all of this were to keep other people safe. I've kept my distance from others while shopping. I've worn the mask when it wasn't possible for me to distance myself. I've taken necessary protections at home as well. All of this was done with the intention of keeping other people safe just as much as it was about keeping myself safe. As I stated earlier in the post, I believe that it is more important than ever to come together in unison to get ahead of this virus. I believe in taking all of the precautions so that I don't unintentionally infect someone who is immuno-comprimised. It's been most shocking to see how many people don't see things the same way. It's also been disheartening taking my walks everyday and seeing disposable masks and gloves tossed all over public spaces. I can't think of anything more disrespectful to our planet than littering, and sadly,as soon as there was something new we all had to start wearing, the trash started piling up everywhere. Why is it that people think that throwing their trash all over our parks and green spaces is acceptable in any way? It's repulsive behaviour, especially at a time where the planet has started to heal itself from the many years of damage we have contributed to it. We need more love in this world. We need more cooperation and understanding. We need a collective effort in tackling our challenges so that WE ALL can come out of this stronger and healthier. We need to do away with the selfishness and just follow the damned rules. None of us have been through a pandemic before so why is it that suddenly everyone knows exactly what they should do despite being given instructions from health experts. Why the sense of entitlement because we've had to lockdown to keep safe? It's astounding how disjointed we all are in approaching the same situation. My hope is that after this the world can start to heal itself with our help. We need to come together in trying times instead of trying to work against one another. There is so much happening in the world around us right now, some pretty pivotal shit if you ask me, so when it comes to this pandemic, can we not just all work together for all of our greater goods? Maybe I'm just a softy but a world where we all work together to benefit all of us isn't just a pipe dream. It's an actual end goal. A planet where everyone is treated equally regardless of race, gender, orientation, age etc. A world where we go out of our ways to help one another, to lift each other up. IS that really so far fetched? HAPPY VEG These past few days have been especially disturbing watching the events unfold in the United States as a result of the murder of George Floyd. The video was disturbing and clearly implicates the law enforcement officials who were involved. The abuse of power displayed was both shocking and a definite call for action which has resulted in serious riots throughout the United States and protests across the globe. These protests have shone a very dark light on the racism that is so prevalent in the United States but what it has also shown me is that there is still an unprecedented amount of hate on our planet.
Just the other day while walking with a friend, a man on a bike passing by us yelled homophobic slurs at me. Although this was the first time this has happened to me in a year or so, it was still another example of hateful rhetoric that frankly, shouldn't be happening. I've had slurs hurled at me repeatedly throughout my life, I've felt scared to leave school because I was worried there would be people waiting to attack me, I've hated myself for being gay etc. and all of this stems from hate. You see, hate is a giant blanket that covers a variety of situations which include both racism and homophobia. When someone hates you and feels as though they have the right to inform you that they loathe your existence, it's extremely disappointing. I live my life everyday as someone who gives everyone a chance. My dad always had a quote that I enjoyed; "I don't care what colour you skin is or who you love, if you're an asshole, you're an asshole." We need more love and understanding on this planet. It's 2020, we shouldn't be dealing with racism any longer. We shouldn't be dealing with homophobia any longer. These are things that are so outdated and given that we all are educated not to treat people differently because of these things, it's astonishing that it is still so prevalent. There are parts of the world where gay people are thrown off of buildings and their families are publicly shamed. There are parts of the world where gay people are thrown in jail for the rest of their lives simply for being gay. There are parts of the world where women have absolutely no rights and are seen as less than men. And quite obviously, there are parts of this world where African American people are unfairly targeted by the police and endure needless police brutality. This is unacceptable. We are one planet and we are all human kind. We all bleed the same colour, we all desire a life free from the injustices of society. We all crave a life where we have the same chances at happiness as everyone else, free from persecution. We all DESERVE these things. In this day and age, we should be coming together instead of tearing eachother apart. Can you imagine how amazing this world would be if we all gave peace a chance? If every country on this planet worked together for the greater good of all people and all people had equal; rights and opportunities. It seems like nothing more than just a dream but it's possible if we all come together. Stand up against racism. Stand up against discrimination of any kind. Be kind to everyone you meet. Help your neighbours. Stand up for animals. These are things that we all need to be doing everyday. There will come a time where discrimination no longer exists but it's up to all of us to ensure that that day comes sooner than later. HAPPY VEG So it's been almost 30 degrees celcius here in Windsor Ontario the past 3 days and I've quickly been reminded about how much I loathe the weather here. I hate the heat and I loathe the humidity which seem to go hand in hand here. I don't believe we've ever hit 30 without having a humidex of 100% cranking the temperature to 35 or higher. It's unbelievably uncomfortable in every aspect especially considering I walk almost 45 minutes to work every morning. I can't think of anything I hate more about walking to work than literally dripping in condensation the second I exit my house.
I feel like I was especially spoiled last year being in Dublin because the temperature may have hit 27 celcius once and otherwise peaked around 24 or 25 which IMO is pretty perfect. I was actually able to comfortably walk around every day in a t-shirt and jeans without dripping in sweat like a gross pig unlike living here. Also, the winter there was considerably less cold than what we experience here which isn't my biggest issue but it was also quite nice. I didn't wear a winter jacket at all last year. It was honestly the best weather I have ever lived through even considering the amount of rain I endured there. It's only been 3 days of this extreme heat and I'm already contemplating how the hell I'm going to get out of this in the future. My original plan was to take the Working Holiday experience in New Zealand because the opportunity is gone after I hit 35 next year but unfortunately, covid19 has pretty much nullified any opportunity I had to fly to New Zealand. Even if everything opens up prior to my birthday, I can't say that I'm entirely comfortable with the idea of cramming myself on to a congested plane. In my experience, planes are pretty much cesspools of sick people and germs. Every time I flew while in Dublin I swear I could hear the echos of coughing and sniffling ringing through the entire plane. It's just not a comfortable experience without considering this stupid virus. So, with all of this taken into consideration, I'm thinking about making a move to the east coast of Canada. Newfoundland, PEI, and Nova Scotia are all pretty enticing to me. The summers there are shorter and considerably less warm than here in Ontario. The downside would obviously be the horrific winters but I can take a bad winter anyday over a brutally hot summer. It would be such a lovely experience getting to do some travelling around the east coast of Canada. The east coast seems so peaceful and picturesque, I think I would absolutely love living there for a while. Will I actually go through with it? It's a little too soon to tell but I can tell you that I won't be living here for much longer. I just can't physically handle the summers here anymore. What do you think? Should I move to the east coast y'all? HAPPY VEG I haven't written in here for over a month so it's a pretty good time to catch up on everything that's going on. In this past month, I've returned to work at the restaurant under the stipulations of coronavirus which have made things interesting to say the least. We've had to relearn how to operate the restaurant under an entirely new system that accommodates the staff safely and also provides services to people. It's been such a strange experience having people come to pick up food and being unable to really engage with them because they're being kept at a reasonable distance away from me.
I must admit, this virus has really put things in to perspective in terms of not taking anything for granted. Going to the grocery store used to be my favourite weekly thing to do and now it propels me in to nervousness because half of all people don't respect the rules of social distancing. In fact, this past weekend I did my shopping and recognized that they had taken away all of the social distancing markers in the store leading people to just walk all over you without regard. It was nerve wracking tio say the least because it seemed I really couldn't avoid getting too close to anyone. Is it too soon to be loosening restrictions I wondered, but that's not within my control. I haven't seen my best friends in months, I haven't seen my brother and his family in months, and there's no real indication when I will be able to safely do so. This situation is naturally anxiety inducing but all of the unknowns haven't done much to really quell my nervousness. I'm hearing about things slowly starting to reopen and at the same time hearing about how the cases of the virus in my city continue to rise. Will it be safe to go and visit friends / family even though they're reopening everything? I'm kind of at a loss in terms of how I feel about this whole thing. I don't know for sure that I'm extremely trusting of people enough to go and start mingling with them again without worrying that they have the virus and will pass it to me to give to my dad, sister, and nephews. It's such a scary time to be alive. I also can't believe the amount of people who have completely disregarded the virus and are demanding things to be reopened. I'm flabbergasted at the lack of concern for each other when I see protests demanding things reopen. Why isn't everyone as nervous about this virus as I am? Why are people putting themselves at risk? Their families at risk? It's incredibly scary to me that there are so many people who would rather see everything go back to normal without regard for what's going to happen to people's health. Don't they all care that they could make their own families sick? I must admit, it's definitely an interesting time to be alive. Watching a virus cripple the entire planet has been eye-opening to say the least. It's certainly proved that we are not indestructible, that something as small as a virus can change the course of the entire planet. Makes you feel a little small in the scheme of things you know? I guess all we can do is continue to do what we're told will keep us safe until we have no choice but to engage with the world and hope for the best. I'm not worried about getting the virus necessarily, I'm more so worried about who I'll give it to. That's my biggest fear at this point. Stay safe everyone <3 HAPPY VEG It's been over a month since my last post, but today is my last day of work until this coronavirus is curbed so I figured it's a good time to reflect. This whole coronavirus thing has been so scary you know, none of us have ever lived through something like this before. I mean, there have been other virus' that have worried us but nothing that has swept across the globe with such ferocity. Borders closing, travel bans, isolation, it's all been quite a nerve-wracking journey up until now.
There are so many thoughts racing through my head as I finish work. I must admit, I have grappled with anxiety most of my life, but what triggers my anxiety most is the unknown. Not knowing when I will return to work, when things will reopen, whether or not this is going to get significantly worse etc., these "what if's" are wrecking my brain. I'm trying to be as level-headed about things as possible but wow, this is quite a rapid lifestyle change you know? 'm starting a 14 day distancing process beginning tomorrow. Outside of my daily walks through the trails, I will be staying home in an effort to keep myself and my family safe and to do my part to help curb the spread of the virus. While I look forward to being able to invest a large amount of time into things like studying for my TEFL, writing recipes, and diving back into my German lessons, I can't help but worry about how long this will go on. I can deal with a couple of weeks of no work but after that I see myself starting to go stir crazy. Working keeps me sane, without work and that break from home life, I fear I am going to be going a little bit nuts. This virus has taught me a lot about our planet. It has taught me that we are so blissfully unaware of how quickly our lives can be upended like this that when it happens, people panic. I've witnessed grocery stores that are wiped out of frozen goods, dry goods, paper towels and toilet paper etc., people have literally purchased enough to be locked up in their homes for months while the rest of us scramble to find necessities. It has taught me how susceptible we are to new virus' despite the millions of dollars funnelled into research and whatnot. No matter how immune we think we are, this virus has humbled the globe. I also can't help but recognize how quickly mother nature has healed amidst this crisis. Seeing the photos of Venice's canals clearing up was pretty awe-inspiring. Crystal clear water, fish, swans, and even dolphins returning to the coast, all of this within a month of Italy's lockdown. This virus has kept us at a standstill which has allowed the planet to rapidly heal. It's pretty shocking to actually witness the planet healing itself you know? Will this change anything when this is all over? I don't think so, but those of us who care enough about the planet have taken note. We are destroying the planet so rapidly and this is proof that if we actually cared enough globally to change out actions, we could clean this planet up in no time. However, I feel like people will be so eager to return to normalcy that they will immediately hop back on their planes, drive their cars, toss their trash etc., it won't change anything. My final thought on all of this is a well wish for everyone who's reading. I wish you all safety and health during this process. Heed the advice of officials who tell you to socially distance. If you have returned from somewhere outside of your hometown, take the advice of officials and isolate for 14 days. We must all do our part to keep eachother safe . xo HAPPY VEG I've been putting a lot of thought into where I want to end up next in the world and the ways in which I can get to these places. Dublin was both a blessing and a curse because I had access to so many amazing places in Europe for such a small cost that I grew quite accustomed to being able to travel wherever on a whim. Unfortunately, now that I'm in Canada again there's just no such thing as budget travelling anywhere here so I'm kind of restricted to staying put right where I'm at. This has already started to eat away at me in the short time I've been back home.
I just want to travel, there's so much of the world that I have yet to see and I'm craving the kind of new experiences I was having often back in Dublin. That's why I have decided to begin my TEFl (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course. Teaching English abroad is not necessarily something I could have seen for myself a few years ago but have since come to the realization that it's not only an opportunity to do something new in terms of employment, but it's an opportunity to move abroad and live somewhere new for a period of time. I was originally hesitant to live in a country where I not only had to learn to understand a new language but also had to learn to understand symbols as opposed to words, however through my travels to non-English speaking countries I've realized that it's actually not that difficult. It's quite challenging to navigate ANY new place but that's the exciting part of a journey like this. Engulfing yourself in a new culture, learning new ways of life and new languages, it's all very exciting. That's what has motivated me to get this course under my belt with the hopes of potentially relocating to a place like Japan or Taiwan for a year or two. Since starting the course, I can tell it's challenging and will require me to put a lot of effort into not only completing it but excelling at it to ensure I am offered opportunities afterwards. I was expecting a challenge because teaching someone a new language is not something you should take lightly so I'm prepared to put in the work and come out of this ready to take on a new challenge like this. There's something so intriguing about being responsible for making learning a new language fun and exciting to a group of people who may not yet see the benefits. I just know I have the personality and ability to excite people and engage them. I'm really excited. I don't know for sure where I'll end up at the end of this year but I know I'll be ready for whatever comes my way. HAPPY VEG I've been doing a lot of thinking about what my next move is going to be in terms of moving abroad at the end of the year and it's brought me to two very different outcomes, both of which I could see myself doing.
First, my original plan is to apply for the working holiday visa for New Zealand and move at the end of the year. It would give me one year in the country to live and work, much like I did in Ireland this past year. I really love the idea of living in New Zealand for so many reasons. Firstly, the weather on the south island from what I've been told is much like the weather in Dublin. Cooler, wetter, and rarely stifling, all things that make me especially happy. I love that I'd have a year to travel around New Zealand because in that year, I feel like I could definitely see the entire country. Also, it's extremely close to Australia as well which would mean I'd have the opportunity to do some travelling there as well which would be fantastic. I'd also have access to parts of Asia which would be such an awesome opportunity. I'd probably have the opportunity to do at least one or two trips to places like Japan or Thailand which would probably be the coolest experience I've had thus far. There's so many reasons spending a year in New Zealand would be a very good thing for me. My second idea is getting my TEFL licence and using it to teach English abroad. My plan with this is to get the licence and start by teaching English online so that I get a feel for what it's all about and whether or not I could see myself doing it long term. If I decide I really enjoy it, there's so many opportunities to take English teaching jobs abroad in places like Japan, India, Taiwan, and parts of the middle east. This would be an experience like no other in my opinion. I would never have thought about living in a place like Japan because I was originally overwhelmed at the thought of having to try and navigate a new written AND spoken language. However, now that I've spent a year living abroad and travelled to some countries where English was not the first language, I've seen that it's totally manageable to live in a place where I don't understand anything. It's an opportunity to try my hands at learning to read, write, and speak an entirely new language during my stint as a teacher. Plus, I'd have access to so many Asian countries if I was living over there. I'm torn between these two options. Both would offer me access to parts of the world I wouldn't be able to financially get to otherwise and both would provide me with a year of new experiences. For now, I'll focus on getting my TEFL licence and go from there I guess. What's the old saying? The world is your oyster or something like that? We can go and do whatever we want if we put our minds to it! HAPPY VEG |
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